Your Authentic Self Might Be a Lie

..and until you face that, you’re just performing for yourself

We talk a lot about authenticity these days. "Be yourself" is a mantra that's been plastered across self-help books, Instagram captions, and motivational posters for years. But what does that really mean?

Too often, we confuse “being ourselves” with self-expression - how we dress, how we talk, what we post, what we consume. But I want to challenge that idea. I believe the greatest thing we can do for ourselves isn’t just to express who we are, but to face who we are. To be honest - painfully, relentlessly honest, with ourselves. Because before you can be anything real in the world, you have to be real with yourself.

That’s not easy.

In fact, I think most of us spend a huge portion of our lives performing, not just for others, but for ourselves. We build mental characters, exaggerated versions of who we think we are or want to be. We construct illusions, not out of arrogance, but out of fear. We tell ourselves stories to feel safe: I’m doing fine. I’m strong enough. I’m better than them. I’ve got this figured out.

And sure, those stories bring a certain comfort. But it’s a fragile comfort, a security blanket made of thin, unraveling threads. Because deep down, we know when we're not being real. Deep down, we sense when the comfort we're clinging to is just a buffer between us and the uncomfortable truths we don’t want to admit.

Here’s the kicker: that false sense of comfort doesn’t protect us. It traps us. It keeps us orbiting around the same patterns, the same wounds, the same insecurities. We’re not confronting them. We’re cushioning them.

To grow, to change, to evolve - we don’t need more comfort. We need courage. We need the courage to say, “Maybe I don’t have it all together.” Or, “Maybe the version of myself I’m clinging to is just a defence mechanism.” Or even just, “I don’t know.”

Because real growth doesn’t come from effort alone. You can read all the books, listen to all the podcasts, and grind through every productivity hack and still not change. Why?

Because change doesn’t happen until you’re willing to listen. To really take in new information, not just intellectually, but emotionally. To sit with the truth of where you are and allow it to move you.

That requires humility. It requires stillness. It requires presence. You can't transform what you're not willing to acknowledge.

And that’s especially true when it comes to the unknown. We’re so afraid of uncertainty. We label it as a threat. But what if the unknown isn’t something to fear, but something to honour? What if not knowing is sacred?

There’s something powerful in saying, “I don’t know who I am right now, but I’m willing to find out.” There’s freedom in admitting, “I’m not sure where I’m going, but I’m here for the process.” There’s wisdom in recognising that this moment, as uncertain and imperfect as it may be, is enough.

Because you, as you are, right now, are enough. That doesn’t mean you can’t grow. It means you don’t need to hustle for your worth. You don’t need to constantly perform or prove or posture.

You don’t need to build an identity just to hide from your insecurity. What’s already inside you is not broken. It's just buried… beneath expectation, fear, distraction, ego.

Strip it all away, and what remains? You.

Not the version you sell to others. Not the curated character you play for your own approval. Just you - raw, flawed, real.

And that? That’s the foundation for everything.

So maybe the most revolutionary thing you can do today isn’t to push harder or try to be better. Maybe it's to pause. To breathe. To ask yourself, honestly, “Who am I when I’m not trying to be anything at all?”

And then, listen.

- B